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Igecko.jpg am tired of the Geiko Gecko, and I simply cannot understand his universal appeal. Geiko is a company that purchases its customers through an unrelenting onslaught of clever advertising and direct mail, and it is no better than any other auto insurance company. After being inundated with Geiko advertising for what seemed years, I became brainwashed into believing that Geiko is cheaper. I called Geiko for a quote and, after a half hour of being asked every question but the color of my underwear (the answers probably then fed into the monolithic database of direct marketing to be data mined by useless product manufacturers and NSA officials), I was quoted a rate twice as high as what I was currently paying! “Why do you need my social security number?”, I felt like asking. Does my credit score somehow indicate my accident risk factor as well as my credit risk factor? Are you concerned that I won’t pay my bill? After all, I don’t pay my insurance, you cancel it, no harm no foul. Why do you need to know about the only accident that I’ve ever had in my life, a no-fault in which I was rear-ended? Why can’t you just limit yourself to what’s currently on the legal record, clean as a whistle? In what robot do you insert the minutae of my life in order to conduct the complex mathematical operations necessary to determine the risk of insuring my Hyundai?

I suppose the gecko is somewhat cute, but the minute he opens his mouth this effect is diminished. He sounds like Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast. I’ll bet that market analysts (the same robots) have determined that the voice appeals to men and the big, dark, slowly blinking eyes appeal to women. It is a wicked reptile.


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